Mental Health Month: Parents Struggle Amid Pandemic

Joel Stewart became a first-time father and moved across the country in the span of a few months. He felt up to the task of the pressures and challenges of new parenthood in a new town, but he admits he often felt lonely.

“No one is really clamoring to hang out with a baby,” Stewart says.

Stewart knew he was depressed. It was a familiar feeling, one he recognized for the first time at 5 or 6 years old. He remembers describing to his mother the feeling of being inaccessible to others. “No one could get to me.” He found solace in fitness, self-improvement, and coaching others.

Then COVID-19 hit, and Stewart’s isolation intensified.

“There’s all these new people with new suffering for me to worry about and internalize and feel helpless about. All those feelings I’ve had since I was a kid, when all this stuff happens, it becomes worse.”

May is Mental Health Month, a time set aside to fight stigma, provide support, educate the public, and advocate for policies that support people with mental illness and their families.

But professionals who support people who struggle with  mental illness have a daunting task in light of COVID-19. Their patients’ symptoms are amplified by a disease that requires cutting off access to the outside world. Without structure and stability, many people with mental illness suffer.

“It is certainly is possible that people are having extremely negative emotional responses to COVID-19, essentially experiencing this global pandemic as traumatic,” said Ali Pepper, Associate Professor of Psychology at Missoula College. “And, if not a trauma, per se, then COVID-19 could be categorized as a major life stressor, which is also associated with significant emotional, physical, and behavioral responses that impacts our daily living.”
 
To people trying to cope with COVID-19 isolation, Pepper offers the following suggestions:

Be honest about your feelings related to COVID-19: Accept that fear, anxiety, sadness, etc. are normal responses to major stressors and trauma.

Talk about these feelings with trusted others: Allow yourself to process them.

Don’t judge: Don’t say “I shouldn’t feel sad.” Rather, accept that sadness is where you are in this moment.

Use coping strategies too buffer the effects of stress.

Find a routine: Get up, get dressed, help the kiddos, eat healthy meals, do school work, housework, workout/be active, connect with friends, family, and community members.

Pepper adds that people should be aware of their cognitive health.

“How we think about COVID-19 can influence the toll it takes on us. Right now, it may feel like this will never end. This sort of thinking is not helpful to our mental health. Truth is, this will end. But, this is going to be more or a marathon than a sprint. Right now, our routine is our new normal. Embrace it. Make it the best you can for you and your family.”

Stewart’s suggestions for other parents coping with mental health struggles right now:

Don’t look for someone to blame, and find a creative outlet. For Stewart, it’s art and creating (follow him on Instagram @joels_art_picks to see what he’s into).

We are grateful to Ali Pepper for her insight for this article.