Open Letter from an ADHD Mom

Dear Everyone,

I'd like to share something that I'm not totally comfortable sharing because it is so personal, but given that it's affecting my life and relationships, I feel like it's time to share the struggles I've been dealing with for a long, long time.

I'm sure most of you who have known me for a significant amount of years know that I have a tendency to be impulsive, loud, fidgety, talk a lot or often too much and I'm an excellent conversation interrupter.

Some of you who've come to know me in more recent years may see me in a very similar light or find my presence to me "too much" or good in "small doses." For that, I am sorry. Let me explain.

Although writing that does make me feel bad, it's important for me to educate my friends that I am someone who suffers from fairly severe adult ADHD. This means that I have an incredibly hard time focusing or staying focused, finishing conversations, responding to conversations. I constantly fidget and it's incredibly hard for me to make eye contact. I have a hard time concentrating on conversations because I'm continually distracted by "outside" noise. I am not disinterested in you, my brain is too interested in everything else that I don't want to focus on.

You may see me do things excessively like fidget or pull at my hair, touch my face, adjust my clothing, sniff, look around, sway, say "um" a lot among MANY other things. I am often unable to finish certain tasks or stay on ONE task until it's finished. I come off as unmotivated or lazy, but the truth of the matter is that my mind doesn't shut off long enough for me to think clearly. This means unanswered messages, forgotten phone calls, missed social activities, etc.

Most of my life I've also suffered from fairly severe anxiety that presents itself as rage. I am irritable, cranky, quick tempered, snappy or even often explosive. For that, I am sorry.

I am working with health professionals to combat these never ending symptoms, but unless my friends and family truly understand that I can't help it, I feel like I have to keep trying to hide it all, which of course makes everything SO much worse.

So, please accept my apologies for any behavior that may have irked you or felt offensive. I haven't ever meant to make anyone feel that way. I don't often realize how intense, obnoxious or mean I can be until after the fact and it's too late to fix. Thanks for understanding and thank you for your patience with me.

Love,

Liz