How to Talk to Kids about Ukraine
Last night the world watched an outcome that is as dreadful as it seemed inevitable: After weeks of threats, Russia invaded Ukraine with tanks and bombs, declaring Imperial rule and threatening any country that dared to interfere. At 10:30, I begged my husband to turn off the television.
“I can’t. I need to know what is happening.” We had been watching the news for hours.
“Nothing new is happening. We need to get some sleep.”
Propelled by a primal urge to ensure their safety, I went to my children’s bedrooms and kissed their tiny foreheads. At 7 and 10, I know I can’t keep the ugliness of the world from them forever like the Santa Claus secret.
How were we going to explain this to them? After giving it some thought and doing a lot of reading today, here’s some helpful tips I’ve gleaned.
Understand that children pick up on everything. Whether they’ve seen a quick news blip, overheard adults talking about it, or listened to another child address it on the playground, chances are your child is already aware something has taken place in the Ukraine. This is your opportunity to control control the influx of information and speak to your child on his or her level. No one knows your child better than you, so you get to determine how many details to include and what the tone of the conversation is. While some children might take the news with a grain of salt, others worry about the state of the world and might feel anxious. Assure your child they are safe and you will always be there to protect them.
Begin with a nonspecific question and go from there. Asking “What have you learned about war at school?” will help you gauge where to begin the conversation.
Try to resist implanting your ideas or overtly politicizing. Instead, ask open-ended questions and let your child apply their critical thinking skills. Use metaphors or relatable situations to help your child understand what is happening. “Have you ever seen someone take something that belongs to someone else on the playground? What did you do?” Help them empathize by asking, “What would it feel like to be in Ukraine?”
Take their cues. If your child isn’t interested in talking about Ukraine, don’t insist. If they have further questions, you’ve opened the door for them to return to the conversation at a later time.
Make your children aware that war and political unrest is something that happens at different points around the globe all the time. You don’t want to normalize the war, but you do want to remind them that conflict is often occurring even though they don’t always have an awareness of it.
Let them know ways they can help. As adults we sometimes encounter feelings of powerlessness and despondency when others are suffering and we can’t help. Kids are prone to these emotions too. Let them know you are planning to donate and ask if they want to forgo their allowance this week to join you. We’ll include resources in the next paragraph and in a list down below.
Anka Lavriv, a tattoo artist at Witch of the Woods Tattoo in Missoula, is a from Ukraine, and her family still lives there. She is hosting a fundraiser, selling prints of her beautiful drawings to raise money for the citizens of Ukraine. Or you can go directly to Savelife.in.Au/donate to donate. If people want to donate directly to an organization that benefits children, she recommends Children’s Voices, which provides psychological assistance to children affected by the war.
Resources:
We’ve vetted this list of resources to help Ukrainian citizens and the army to ensure your money is going to the intended places.
Army SOS: Helps fund the Ukrainian Army
