Boundaries to Support You, New Mama
Stock image from Unsplash.
This first article first appeared in LIFTS and was written by Emily Clewis, team member of Healthy Mothers, Healthy Babies and new mom to a baby boy. As a mom in the early stages of postpartum life, she wrote this letter to new moms who may need help setting boundaries.
During postpartum, it is easy to be led by excitement and pride. You want desperately to share this new human with the world and to should, “Look what I did!” from the rooftops. As women, we know that in the first few weeks, we are supposed to rest and allow our bodies to heal and recover. But our friends and family start calling, and we tell ourselves that we will rest later. Suddenly, visitors and responsibilities snowball, and somewhere under it all, there we are, crushed and tired as hell.
Here are some simple phrases to help draw boundaries around yourself in postpartum.
“We are not ready for visitors at this time.”
“I’m feeling really tired today. Let’s plan for another time when I’m feeling up to company.”
“My body doesn’t feel up to that. I’ll let you know once I feel recovered.”
“I don’t feel comfortable with that quite yet. I can reach out to you when I feel ready!”
“I know we had plans, but I’m not quite up for it after all. Let’s try again in a few days. In the meantime, here are some sweet pictures!”
“What I really need help with at this time is . . .”
“No.”
Mama, feel empowered to listen to and advocate for your own needs during this time. Speak them fiercely and unapologetically, even if your voice shakes. Your own mental and physical health is so important, and you have permission to draw a circle of protection around yourself.
