Some Lawmakers Are Terrible Parents - And They Want You to Be Terrible Too
Rep. Kerri Seekins-Crowe-reads a bill on the House floor. She says she wouldn’t have saved her depressed daughter’s life and if you are the parent of a trans child, she doesn’t want you to save their life either.
Look, the fundamentals of parenting really aren’t that complicated. While some people like to fight about the best way to go about it, you should essentially give your kids food and water, adequate clothing, a roof over their head, and love. The rest will fall into place.
Unfortunately, some people can’t manage that last part, and — worse still — they unabashedly put their terrible parenting on full public display. For example, last month Montana lawmaker Kerri Seekins Crowe, R-Billings, told everyone how she handled her teenage daughter’s depression. The Tiff’s Notes: She didn’t.
Let’s listen.
If you missed it, Seekins Crowe begins by talking about three years in which her teen daughter was suicidal. “Someone once asked me, ‘Wouldn’t you just do anything to help save her?’ And I really had to think. And the answer was no.” She goes on to say she wasn’t going to give in to her daughter’s “emotional manipulation” and that she wouldn’t let her daughter “tear her apart.”
RECORD SCRATCH.
And lest you think she reserves all of this disdain for her daughter, here’s a Facebook post wherein she tells her son, “You've been a huge inconvenience your whole life.” A real confidence builder, that one.
Look, I know this is just how some people parent. Heavy on the tough, light on the love. And that would be fine — I guess — if Seekins Crowe and people like her didn’t also want to legislate how YOU parent. The bill in question? Senate Bill 99, dubiously titled “Youth Protection Act” bans parents of trans youth from seeking gender-affirming care.
What that means is that any social, psychological, behavioral, and medical interventions designed to affirm a kid’s gender identity will be banned in Montana if this law passes. That can range from meetings with a counselor who recognizes the individual’s stated gender rather than their gender assigned at birth to hormone therapy. Gender-altering surgery is not available in Montana. Nevertheless, certain lawmakers continued to refer to gender-affirming care as “mutilation” — despite being asked multiple times not to.
Many medical professionals who testified in committee meetings about SB 99 stated that they consider gender-affirming care as medically necessary as providing insulin to a patient with diabetes because it drastically reduces depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. SB 99 passed both chambers, but Gov. Greg Gianforte sent it back before signing it, saying he wanted it to be EVEN MORE restrictive. Know what makes this more confusing? Gianforte’s own son is non-binary and lobbied his father not to harm his community.
It was a brave and necessary act, but if Gianforte is anything like Seekins-Crowe, knowing the legislation he passes will actively harm his own child won’t sway him. It might even make him double down.
Seekins-Crowe is HEARING ABOUT IT online. A tweet that shows this video has been shared millions of times and even caught the attention of Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) who called it “beyond shameful.”
Seekins Crowe didn’t want to pursue medical or psychological intervention to treat her daughter’s depression, and that’s fine because that’s her choice. But her telling other parents that they can’t do so? That’s NOT fine. It will lead to unnecessary suffering and possibly death for a group that is already highly at risk and kneecap parents’ ability to seek treatment for their children.
“Live and let live” used to the be Montana way of life. Now it seems to be “live and let us tell you how to live.” This legislative session, certain lawmakers have tried to control the books you are allowed to check out from the library, the entertainment you enjoy with your family, even whether or not your children are allowed to learn about scientific theory in school. Don’t these lawmakers have anything better to do, like, I don’t know, ease our housing crisis, improve our public school system, or help more parents be able to afford childcare? Solutions to actual problems that Montana families face?
These lawmakers certainly don’t know more about raising my kids — and meeting their needs — than I do. I’m pushing back on this legislation, writing to my legislator and telling everyone I know what’s happening in Helena.
To parents raising trans kid:, I see you. I know how hard you work and how mind-boggling it must feel knowing there are people who are trying to make it impossible. Hang in there.
